South pole elves

Bah Humbug!!!

Some of the people in the building are so Scroogey. The don't want to hear my Christmas music yet. On top of that, they think my music stinks.

But I thought everyone liked Burl Ives, damnit!

Thanksgiving Lunch!

Welcome Kingston

Join the Reel-Pirates of Hest in congratulating Kevin and Bethany on the arrival of Kingston.

Awesome quotes

Today Jenn said: "It was like watching a walrus eat a salad."

A few weeks ago, Stephen said: "I can't shit a technician."

And long before that, Tammy said in response to why she wouldn't have another drink: "Bitch gotta drive."

Spooky!

Shannon

Disturbed Writer

Skip!

Soccer Mom

Sandra!

Dust Bunny

Jennifer!

Pretty Peacock

Andrea!

Walter sent me the link to this video today. He wanted to make sure we snatched up this location, if we hadn't done so yet.

Cleaning office

I set up my drink station next to the money counter.

Pot of Golds

Got 'em.

Office tunes

We've installed boom boxes and speakers at our desks. Jenn and I have tunes we listen to. Loud. Which means the rest of the office listens, too.

My playlist: Journey, Boston, Kansas, Rolling Stones, AC/DC, David Bowie, Eagles, Foreigner, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Nazareth, Rush, Scorpions, Styx, and Ted Nugent.

There's also the odd Doris Day, Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, etc.

Jenn humors me and rocks out to Boston. Thanks, Jenn!!

I borrowed Steve the bionic panda to keep me company until she returns.

Jenn is on vacation

Skullgrinder is so sad.

Hostage released

Even though the prisoner liked to bound and gagged, he has been released. The pirates now do not have to go thirsty and will live to tell another tale. HINT: Keep the pirates in beer and they will do less pirating and skullduggery!

Concessions...or no?

Oh! Imhotep's Priest! I've been looking for you all week. I had NO idea you'd been abducted by our mutinous crew.

So. They've made demands. More pint glasses. Normally, I don't negotiate with kidnappers, but for you, I'll make an exception.

Friendly Message

Buy more pint glasses and no one has to get hurt.

NC Trip

Shannon and I were in North Carolina all last week on business. I had never been to North Carolina before so I took notes:

1)The morning we left, I knew I was on my way to NC when the flight attendant offered the passengers margaritas at 8:45 in the morning. Apparently, it's never too early to drink in North Carolina. And they make a mean vodka tonic.

2)The fictional town of Mayberry, from the Andy Griffith show, was based upon the real life town of Mount Airy, North Carolina where Andy is originally from. If I'm not mistaken, we have customers there. I have mixed feelings about this seeing as I'm a huge Andy Griffith fan.

3)The people are incredibly kind. Everyone we met was so friendly; they make you feel more like a part of the family than a guest. And they certainly aren't afraid to have a good time. In particular, Rob and Donna, David, and Jon. We spent the afternoon riding around looking at locations and they had me laughing the whole time.

4)We spent majority of our time in and around Greensboro, but from what I could see North Carolina is a beautiful state. The Cherry trees were in blossom - everything was in blossom. It was gorgeous!

5)Shannon and I also discovered Liver Pudding. Yup, that's what I said - Liver Pudding. It was described to me as redneck pâté. I have yet to actually see it but it smells horrible. I hear it's made with pork livers. No one could tell me what else went into it but they swear it's delicious. I think I'll just take their word for it.

A Break, Part II

Well there may have been some fun-interuptus when the power came back on yesterday, but that didn't keep Queen Skull Grinder and her Cruise Director from partying for long. Eventually beer:30 came around and we found ways to entertain ourselves between drinks:

We played on the white boards upstairs.


This was Jimz contribution to the white board vandalism. I think this may have been in reference to the shots of Jack the guys had.

After that things just got sillier:

Jimz posts his visiting hours here. Skullgrinder and I decided to embellish a bit.


I think my beer goggles started fogging. That or they were moving around a lot...yeah, they were moving around a lot.


Okay, at this point we decided it was time to go for mexican food at La Playa Maya.

~The End~

A break

A storm blew out our power and phone systems yesterday. After sitting in the dark for a few minutes listening to battery backups beep-beep-beep, we grabbed some glasses from the dark kitchen and ran upstairs thinking it was beer:30. Dang if the power didn't come back online. Dashed our attempt to play hooky.

Back to work.

Hell in the Cell

Days around here at Hest are sometimes like Hell in the Cell. Except I don't want to end up like Tommy Dreamer without a head. I later found his head here:

I asked the kid why Tommy's head was in the Motrin and he shrugged. Dunno.

That right there is a bad idea!

Random images from the week

Where are all the ladies?

Petro Show booth

A peek into my psyche:

This is a random list entitled “Things I sometimes imagine against my will.”

• My hands are laughing – I can’t write or type.
• If I laugh while swimming I will drown.
• I don’t like “Close Talkers” – people who stand too close to you while conversing. It feels like they are sucking up all the air.
• Toilet snakes – they are real.

How fat is Tuesday?

I always thought Tuesday was the skinniest day of the week. After the excesses of the weekend that is always the day of full recovery. The New ‘merican Encyclopedia says the fat Tuesday is the fattest day of the year. How does the skinniest day of the week become the fattest day of the year?

Maybe in this bad economy Fat Tuesday should go on a diet. However given the unknown affects of economic stimulus, this may not be practicable.

We're rainbows, dammit!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Fish? FISH? F.I.S.H.?

Have any of yall ever seen trucks with FISH written on the back? What does this mean? Are they carrying fish, and if so, are they then required to display that on their truck? Or is it an acronym? This question has plagued me for many, many years. Even tried Yahoo answers, but nobody could agree on what it meant. Just thought I would share that with everyone.

PS - Not sure what day I was supposed to blog on, so I thought I would just go for it.

News Flash: All Is Well. (Sort of)

I just wanted to assure all of you that drug smuggling is on the decline. Heroine and cocaine across U.S. borders, gold bars in Nepal, human trafficking in Canada ... they're all dead markets.

The new "hot" smuggling commodity: carrier pigeons. Or so thought this guy from the Middle East who tried to smuggle his little buddies in his thermal underwear (or whatever they call 'em over there.)

I just want to know one thing: why????

Poor little pigeons.

If I were the Pirate Queen

If I were the Pirate Queen I would use my sword to force naysayers to walk the plank.
The reel pirate ship (office) would have:
Puppies
Naptime
A painted toe nails rule
A coffee shop with free mocha lattes
A vacation condo in Tortuga


Thank you to Jimz for blogging on my day,
I really didn't have anything to say.

No Ribaldry!

There once was a boy named Chase
who's games ran amlost every place.
Then came the law
and right before the fall,
He cried "But my games are just like the man's from Ryan Place!

Steve the bionic panda

Is this freaky or what? It showed up one day on Jenn's desk and I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. It's disturbing, isn't it? Jennifer jerked the head off a Steve Austin (the Bionic Man) doll and put it on her panda AND THEN she jammed a plastic Easter shell on his head to keep the aliens from scanning his brain.

What the hell do you say to that? I'll tell you. Nothing. You simply move on. Move on.

Sweeps entries

OK. I'm creating a schedule for the blog. Here it is. If peeps don't blog, they don't get in the contest for best entry. And then they don't get a Sweeps chance to win the big monies.

Shannon - Thursday, 5th
Andrea - Friday, 6th
Sherry - Monday, 9th
Jim - Tuesday, 10th
Rob - Wednesday, 11th
Donald - Thursday, 12th
Jenn - Friday, 13th
Fred - Monday 16th
Teresa - Tuesday 17th
Greg - Wednesday 18th

Toy Fetish

It started innocently enough with a one or two wind-up toys on my desk. Then Shannon was buying all the women of Hest weiner dolls. She claims they're from some hot dog stand in Chicago but no one has believed me yet when I've tried to explain this:

Now we've moved on to poseable lifelike dolls of wrestlers.

Look out blonde dude! (I can't remember his name)

Rey Mysterio gonna kick your ass!

Inbox innuendo

I woke up at 3 am this morning, my tummy upset from eating dinner too late. I spent the wee hours cleaning out a year's worth of emails that were choking my inbox. When I told Chris "I cleaned out my inbox," he said: "What's that? Code for vomiting?"

Three people who don't blog

Chris, Donald and Todd

Happiness is...

Jenn and I have two new sayings:

I'm a rainbow, dammit. Which means: take your sorry, sad self and move on. We're trying to maintain happiness here.

AND...

Hot Pocket.

See this video for the "inside joke."

On a different note, Jenn and I rearranged our office!! And my gnomes came thru. Partly. The wiring is almost finished.